January 26, 2015
The new year continues with highs and lows and in betweens...Bailey has her driver’s license now and honestly, I am not sure how I am going to let go and let her drive on her own - I know I have to - she has her own vehicle and is doing a great job...but I have so many concerns - I had the same concerns when Christian was driving, but it’s magnified now, because Bailey is our only child left with us. A co worker and friend’s daughter was injured in a car accident last week, I am praying for her full recovery, another co worker is hospitalized - even though, I do not work much, I love my work family (past and present) and they were so supportive during Christian’s illness and continue to be supportive for me. I am very thankful that I made the decision in the April of 1994 to try something new in nursing and join the Emergency Department at Hamilton Medical Center. I have been blessed over the years to work with some amazing people and I am glad they continue to tolerate my presence.
Saturday night, was a HIGH, but it was full of emotion and lots of tears - I am so proud of Ellie King and Grace Anderson for their FUNdraising Birthday party and wowed at the generous donations! I was so keyed up about their party, I could not go to sleep - normally, I am in bed early, even if I have trouble staying asleep for the night - Well, Saturday, I was up until 2:30 a.m. - I watched 2 old movies trying to get settled down for the night....
Today, has been a roller coaster - I had a meeting at Children’s Hospital this morning and it was good...but today was not an easy meeting...I feel so much passion and I know I walk a fine line expressing my feelings, but honesty is part of who I am! I have been described as being brutally honest - today, I felt like I was that way, but I also had someone else in this very small meeting that was on the same page with me and I was happy to see her passion is as strong as mine.
The first part of tonight was a high, The Christian Bryant Foundation received 2 significant donations, and it was an honor to receive these gifts! I am thankful Chris and Bailey were here to be a part of receiving one of the gifts. I also have a gift from a private donor - so tomorrow, I will be taking close to $4,000 to the Foundatation office. The coincidence and I use that word loosely, I know it’s all God! Friday, I commited $2,000 to help a Dalton family with a 4 year old that has cancer replace their heat/air - they have been using space heaters all winter - so Grace and Ellie thought their FUNdraiser may raise $1,000...I knew the commitment I made and was honestly not surprised when they raised $2, 761.00 and there are more donations that are promised. So, here is where I struggle...I am so thankful for every donor to The Christian Bryant Foundation, but I so wish Christian was running this foundation and not me! But thankful her life and legacy are making the difference that she so wanted!
So, about an hour after the high of Grace and Ellie’s big donation, I enter the world of being a cancer Mom, not that I ever leave - but one of our children that I feel close to is suffering, so tonight I have been in close contact with his Mom...my heart breaks and I just want to fix it, but I could not fix Christian and I cannot fix this child...It is a rare occasion that I am tempted to overstep my bounds and intervene, tonight, I ask for permission and did not get it from Mom - but I think it’s all working out. So, tonight, I so want to pray for healing, but I know that healing comes in many forms and the most beautiful healing is not what I desired, but Christian was truly completely healed forever! I will miss her every day of my life on earth and never understand why her life ended at such a young age! Tonight, I am praying for mercy for my friend that his pain desperately needs to be healed. So please join me in prayer and pray for my friend: Dear Heavenly Father, please show mercy, take away the pain, take away all the tumors, give my friend comfort and peace! And please Lord give his parents and siblings peace to endure this journey. In Christ Name I Pray, Amen.
I know this blog ended on a down and I am sorry, but life is not always full of roses....tonight, I will end with Christian’s quote from November 2011, “Everyday is a gift, you never know what will happen.” Thank you for following and reading my blog.... - Robyn