July 7, 2014

by Robyn Bryant


July 7, 2014

 

For those of you who have lost a child or someone very close, you will understand this blog post....Grief has no boundries and is unpredictable and tears come at some of the most unwanted times....  Today, I had a doctor’s appointment to schedule having my gallbladder removed.  I had to fill out paperwork  and some of the questions were hard...I was almost in tears in the waiting area, but I fought back the tears and distracted myself reading the news on my phone.  Question:  How many children do you have?  Male?  Female?  Family history, Has anyone related to you biologically had...cancer?  There is a sweet nurse in this surgeon’s practice, but unfortunately we did not get to do anything but say hello today.  The poor nurse or medical assistant that came in to make sure all my information was in the computer correctly, had to verify the questions and I understand that completely.  She was so sweet and we started talking,  with one question, I referred to my girls and for some reason she thought I might have twins...but I think right when she said it, she looked down and saw I had 2 daughters and beside that I wrote, one deceased.  She ask another question and I said out loud that my oldest daughter died, she said, I am so sorry about your daughter, I cannot imagine...at this point I am barely holding it together and I don’t even respond.  Then she gets to the cancer question and I say My Father and My Daughter and both are deceased and had cancer...I then cannot hold back any longer and start crying...I was embarrased by my tears and struggled to get control.  I have known my surgeon since 1990 and I did not want to be crying when he came in...He came in and that went fine.  I love the fact that he completely explained everything to me and gave me a book about my surgery.  I was very relived to get my surgery scheduled for later this month and get out of the office.  I came home and just rested (I have a badly sprained ankle right now, that is extremely uncomfortable, but that is another story).  So, I needed to get off my feet and just be alone...I cried some more...but let Chris and Bailey and a couple of friends know when my surgery is scheduled and then I dosed off...I woke to Chris calling asking about my surgery and how he needed to adjust his calendar that day.  I am blessed with the best husband and my sweet, precious Bailey and some friends who are always there for me.  After Chris’ call...I read the new Veranda magazine, I spent some time looking at flight prices to different locations, especially Ithaca, NY...would love to meet my new neice in person and was not happy with any flight price I saw for anytime I checked.  I then started looking at Pinterst....I talked to my very good friend...then received a text from another friend with a question...it’s odd, because this friend and I have shared a lot of happy times, great memories, but we had a rough patch (as sometimes friendships do), today her text was just what I needed...over a period of several hours we texted back and forth..she probably got very tired of me sending her pictures of our new house...but decorating is a love we both share...then after I got back from picking up Bailey form dance at GPS tonight, I wanted to send her one more picture...years ago, she gave me a set of keys that I now have hanging on one of the french doors in our dining room, I sent her a picture of that (I have already received comments on the keys during a shower we hosted recently).  Today, my old friend helped me get through a rough patch and she did not even know it...So, I leave you with this, my personal quote,  I have shared before.  “Love Deeply, Forgive Often and Find Your Blessings.”  - Robyn Bryant