November 15, 2014
One week from today will be Christian’s Birthday! The day God gave me and Chris the beautiful gift of Christian!....
Today’s blog comes from conversations I have had in the last 6 hours with people that are very dear to my heart and the topic is horrific and very uncomfortable...Suicide.
In my nursing career, I have taken care of multiple people that have attempted suicide and many that have succeeded. There is usually a patteren, the people that attempt, attempt over and over again and for some one day they finally end their life. Often those people were crying for help. And then you have the what I call, the “true suicides,” those are people that make a decision and actually end their life. Suicide starting hitting home for me quit a few years ago...I have 2 friends whose children killed themselves and a friend that killed himself. I gave a lot of thought to these 3 events. I never arrived at any conclusions. All I know is that closure is very difficult for the parents, children and spouse involved.
So now, the point of today’s blog, the recent suicide in our community that has impacted so many and many what to figure out Why? Initially, I was pretty angry! The timing was terrible for a family that lost their only child to a very brief battle with leukemia. But, even when I was angry, I knew, that no one takes their own life when they are thinking clearly. Some may think (myself included) that Suicide is extremely selfish. Well, I was told very recently as I was sharing the events of 2 weeks ago, “Wow, that man must have had a lot of courage to end his own life.” I am still not sure I agree with that statement, but what I do know is everyone that I know that took their own life had to feel extremely hopeless, it may have been a prescription drug induced hopelessness, I cannot imagine what the teens I knew experienced. As adults, we put on many shows for others, its possible the show went on too long and the hopelessness invaded and took over and you had a person that loved deeply and felt the pain of others and just could not help himself and one day was just not thinking clearly at all and took his own life...I know he was not thinking clearly, because he was a man who always put others first and he would have never wanted to leave the hurt behind that his death has left for so very many....So tonight, I have a prayer, “Dear Heavenly Father, heal the hearts of those who have lost their Husband, Father, Pastor, Mentor, and Brother in Christ. I pray that you will continue to bring the church together and that they seek your presence and feel your presence. In Jesus name, I pray, Amen
Love Deeply, Forgive Often and Find your Blessings! Robyn