A Reflection

by Robyn Bryant


March 16, 2013

A Reflection....March 16, 2012, Christian was discharged from the hospital in the afternoon after an 8 day stay.  She ran a fever during most of that time, but was finally fever free long enough to go home.  The cause of this fever was shingles, the first complication, that we now suspect caused the cascade of other complications that would follow very quickly.  But, March 16, 2012, was a good day.  Christian was not only going home, she was determined to go to the beach the next day.  She was not feeling great, but compared to the previous days, she felt better.  She arrived home to find her room decorated with words that her sister, Bailey used to describe Christian...Courage, Strong, Beautiful, Clean, Pretty, Smart, Awesome, Brave, Love, Smile....These still hang in Christian’s room.  During Christian’s illness, I don’t think anyone ever thought about how Bailey’s world had been turned upside down...She watched the person she loved and admired most, loose her hair, get sick multiple times following chemotherapy treatments, battle a horrible infection in her toe that prevented her from doing some normal activities, Bailey found Christian, the morning she woke up and could not speak or move the left side of her body.  Christian and I spent days and days in the hospital and Chris did all in his power to make things normal for Bailey...but nothing in her life will ever be normal again.  I have been aware of this, but this week it has really hit me how much Bailey was affected by Christian’s illness.  Bailey is a shining light for me and Chris.  But, she keeps all her feelings bottled up inside and really does not want to talk about them.  All of us that love Bailey need to remember that not only has she experienced a horrible loss, the events and the year that preceded Christian’s death had a huge impact on Bailey.  Back to March 16, 2012....After Christian got home, she and Bailey took off to run some errands....what they did was purchase and make gifts for me and Chris.  We left early, March 17, 2012 for Rosemary Beach....Christian loved the beach and I am so thankful that we made this trip, even though Christian was very sick and getting sicker.  Overall, it was a good trip, she spent quality time with her family and some good friends.  Our last night at the beach, we went to Christian’s favorite restaurant, The Red Bar in Grayton Beach, that night we had dinner with our friend’s, The Cullums and Klara Lisy.  We all laughed and ate great food and enjoyed each other’s company.  At the time, we had no idea it would be our last trip to the beach as a complete family.  We will return again to Rosemary Beach very soon...I am praying that I can focus on all of our happy memories with my beautiful Angel and not be sad.....”She laughs with no fear of the future, for her hope is in me.”  Proverbs 31:25

- Robyn Bryant