October 13, 2013

by Robyn Bryant


October 13, 2013

I have struggled some this weekend.  I really spent the day yesterday fighting off a major down day.  I started my day by driving Bailey and Scottie Sandlin to The McCallie School for a combined GPS/ McCallie Day at Six Flags.  As we were driving to meet Scottie, a memory of Christian or a thought hit me and I felt the physical tightness in my chest and the longing and I was fighting back tears.  This is something that happens to me fairly freqeuently.  I have no control over when or where it will happen or what might trigger it.  I returned home, took a little nap and tried to fight off what I guess is really depression...something that use to be foreign to me.  I showered, dressed in what I thought was a cute outfit, Chris and I had lunch together.  He headed to the golf course and I went to get quotes on appliances.  That took a couple of hours...building our new home has been very therapeutic for me.  And yes, I will call it a home, not a house!  It is just a frame right now, but it feels good and already feels like home.  I recovered yesterday with the distraction of pricing appliances and shopping for and preparing dinner.  Two things happened as I was nearing our temporary home yesterday.  I received a text from a very good friend telling me how much she loves me and needs some together time very soon.  Then another text arrived from someone that I have gotten to know and love her and her family dearly...she is another “Cancer” Mom  (I will always consider myself that way).  Anyway, her family received a small gift from the Go Gold for Childhood Cancer Project and she was telling me how the money was spent...all 4 children got new athletic shoes and some boots were purchased.  That really made me better.  Just an affirmation that Christian’s memory and Foundation is making a difference.  This family knew Christian, so this Mom, made sure all her children knew the source of the gift. I also had a good chat with my Mother that lives in upstate NY.  Last night after Bailey arrived home late, I made the conscious decision to allow her to sleep in some today.  Chris and I were up fairly early, but too late to make it to early church.  I prepared a good breakfast for us...but Chris’ mind was on the half marathon that he will be finished with this time next week, so he went out to walk/run 8 miles.  He was back quicker than I expected and he was happy.  This morning, I spent some time writing a devotional for our church...I am not sure if it will be used, but writing is always my best therapy.  Then I got ready for the day...not much was on my agenda.  This will make some of you laugh....Chris and Bailey had gone to play golf together.  I got ready, straightened my hair (a big task) and dressed in again what I thought was a cute outfit.  All this, to grab some magazines and a book I had not opened yet and a chair and head to our new home/house.  I took my chair and got all my magazines and my new book, “Angels in the Midst” by Anne H. Neilson (a beautiful book with paintings, but also stories) and went up to sit in Bailey’s room (now our new home is just a frame)...but sitting in her room, there was a great breeze, I felt surrounded by quiet and nature and I saw mountains as I looked out what will be her window.  I read the first few pages of my new book and cannot wait to read more...then a good friend, Angie Johnson joined me and we got to sit together and have a good visiit.  All in all, I would consider this a blessed day.....

In less than a week the second year of Team CMB will embrace the 7 Bridges Marathon Events.  Our team is smaller this year, but I still feel like we will have an amazing presence.  Thank you to everyone that has helped The Christian Bryant Foundation grow and make a difference.  - Robyn